Verse Ofcourse !


A curse on my uninviting mailbox
Looks like it's under a hoax
For there's nothing new or fun in there
To make me smile even once in a while!

Cross I am with all those blogs
I regularly visit and turn back disappointed
Cos no new posts have they for me either
To make me think and ponder awhile.

A bolt of lightning on the idiot box
For all the boring shows and thousand channels
Bloodier are the reruns
Of anything nice they might once have had!

Cannot even turn to my all time love
In good stead they have stood me so long
My dearest pals ,my good old books
For I'm recovering from a Coelho overdose.

And so I take a path I've trodden so less
That of verse and rhyming words
As a last resort or escape
This here is what came out as a result.

Hoping someone would read it atleast
And that one wouldn't hate it too much
Mayn't be good but what the heck
That's the best and all that there is for now !!

Can I have my childhood back?

I still have mountains to climb,

And creeks to swim in .

I wanted to play some more in the rain ,

And kick in the slush muddier.

I missed to make friends with some of ‘em I met on the way,

I forgot to pick some more fights with those I played with .

There are fantasies yet to be shared with wide eyed mates,

And some more adventures to plan during lazy afternoons.

Should have fallen and broken my skin some more,

So there could be more scars to show off from childhood games.

There are still more rainbows to follow with eyes lost to the skies,

Umpteen butterflies to mumble to, as they twittered uncaringly,

Some more flowers to gaze wide upon with admiration

Some more curious fishes in the pond I am yet to touch.

Tantrums and sulks a few more for my hunger for attention

I know some more stuff to show off to the younger kids

Walls yet to be etched with crude pencil and chalks

Stones to be flung farther off into the muddy pond

There are still tiny lotus blooms in there

To be worn around the neck, with their long stalks

Stories from my granny to listen to

There sure must be more tales of the kings and their battles.

Treasure troves of good things still hidden from me

Too precious, all of them, to let go

Can I have my childhood back please?

For I still have mountains to climb

And some more creeks to swim in …

Back to childhood

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. -- Kahlil Gibran

It was to see this longing, and to reaffirm my faith in the purpose and beauty of life, that I decided to volunteer for the ‘Rural Reach Program’ sponsored by the company. As part of the program, a team of employees from the company visit a rural school, sometimes with high drop out rates, and try to reach out to the children, mostly from poor families. The target audience is the children from 5th, 6th and 7th classes who do not get much exposure to computers. There we tell them about the basics of computers and let them explore and use our laptops in an effort to get them interested and generally acquainted with computers.

My life was just turning around the same spot, and boringly so too. Blame it on the recession, the general work trends in the IT industry, marriage brouhaha, or whatever else; nothing seemed to expedite the recovery. That’s when I remembered about my forgotten quest for a purpose in life, around the time I read this in Abhi’s blog. That touched a chord… a very lazy, lethargic chord in me twanged feebly, enough to make me decide on giving up a lazy Saturday to meet a bunch of naughty, high-energy and absolutely adorable kids!

We had a program scheduled for 2.5 hours wherein we would tell them a bit about computers, show them some basic apps like Word and Paint, discuss about civic sense with them, a tiny li’l G.K quiz and then let them play games on our lappies. The kids were broken up into groups of ten and a group of ten 6th grade boys were assigned to me and my mate. No sooner had we opened the laptop than they started chattering away excitedly among themselves -

“Athu kanda da ?Haaai athu pullinte padam alle ?” [Did u see that? Isn’t that grass in that picture? *Windows desktop wallpaper :-)]
“Ohh , ithu gnan nerathe kandittundu” [Oh, I have seen this before ]
“chechi-de peru enthiru ? ” [What’s your name, sis?]
“ithu namukku tharuvo?” [Will you give it to us? * The lappy!!! :-O]

Thus started off our exciting interaction with these tiny bundles of energy, brimming with questions and at times, shooting very frank comments! They took turns typing their names in MS Word, slowly finding each alphabetic key, getting tensed when they typed something wrong, and egging each other on …As part of the Kerala government’s promotion of Linux and open source software for it’s IT education in schools, what little exposure they had had, was in Linux .It surprised me pleasantly when they asked me to give them TuxPaint .We had to make do with MS Paint though, but they were just too eager to lap it all up.

They had spotted the bright blue coloured gift kits we had brought for them in cartons, and I told them the truth when questioned about it. Big mistake! They kept shaking their heads in disbelief, and just wouldn’t take my word that it was for everyone and that the same gift would be given to everyone. Apparently, they had been subjected to differential treatment way too often to believe that they were all going to be treated to the same gift for once. But it helped me get the racket under control with a simple ,”Do you guys even want the gift?” ,to which they would promptly quieten down and get back to their chairs ,finger on lips and arms crossed over their chests .Did I tell you ,they were simply adorable !

The children had very good awareness when it came to civic senses and I did away with the entire preachy bit. Come games time, and you could see ten kids glued to my lappie ,an entangled mass of heads and arms in front of a glaring screen accompanied by unbelievable din .Needless to say ,I loved the mess and was right in the middle explaining the moves and showing them how to play .We took turns playing Pacman ,that old game I played at school when I was the same age ,and I humbly state the fact that I was the highest scorer in our bunch! So I was allowed by the kids to assist them while playing .Yea … We were comrades in arms and I handled the down and left arrows for them!

In no time, it was time for us to wind up but not before getting their feedback .They had to mark their feedback on a scale of 4 to 1, 4 being the highest. As I explained each question to them, they scurried to mark their response as soon as I told them what 4 stood for. That was kind of you, guys! The naughtiest one though would say “1” as he bent over his covered paper and marked four for me and looked back with a mischievous grin. They told me they loved the program and kept on asking me to return some day and teach them some more.
“Eni ennu varum?Adutha Saturday varumo ? ” [When will you come next? Will you come back next Saturday?]
I smiled “Yes”
The naughtiest one shook his head sadly,”Eni varilla,veruthe parayunnathanu ”
[You won’t come back, you are lying]
How many promises made to you have been broken, my child, for you to have that kind of sad sarcasm in you …?
I was heart broken, but smiled “Yes” again.

That is the saddest part of meeting children. You grow so fond of each other in such a short while that it invariably breaks your heart when it’s time to leave. They take leave in the hope that we will meet again soon, and as they wave goodbye to me happily, I have to smile over a broken heart because only I, of the two, know that we may never meet again. Our paths may not cross again, but may the learning and the fun of the whole experience inspire them to not drop out of school but to stay on and learn more. Each one of the kids I met has it in him/her to do well; I pray that life gives them a fair shot …

I come back from the program, my fascination for life, greatly replenished!!!

Footnote -
Dear God,
They are such talented children; please keep an eye out for them.

The School-Maathasherrikkulam Malyalam medium UP School,Attingal.

Why Am I an MJ Fan?

These last few days, some non-MJ fans have been asking me that question, though I am still surprised that there are people in our generation who belong to that category. And all I can say is that, I am lost for words for any explanation.

Some things are so intense that they can only be felt, not explained.The moment you try to explain it, you dilute its intensity and it no longer is what you set out to capture in words. In a way, words are too small for that feeling.

This line of poem from yesterday’s memorial service stayed on with me and to all MJ fans of this world, I have only this to repeat,
“In the loss of our treasure, though we are many, we are all achingly alone … “

And to MJ himself,
I love you, MJ.
You were the best, you are and you will, forever be, The Best.
May your soul find eternal peace .
***

Stand By Me

Last week was the groggiest one of my life; exactly because I spent the most of it in a state of impenetrable grogginess. Last Monday morning went something like this .I drag myself out of the bed past 7.15 am when I have a bus to catch at 8 am by taking an auto to the pick-up spot. I further drag my sleepy self down the flight of stairs to the ground floor (thank god I didn’t slip and fall and break my neck. Come to think of it now, that would have given me a week off!! ).

Seated in the drawing room sofa I find my younger bro who had risen early like an ideal student ,even taken his bath and reading the morning’s newspaper! Again, thank god he didn’t take after me ..though I keep reminding him, “I was way better than you when I was a student myself ,so don’t give me that sneer!”.So I ask this dude in the process of enlightening himself, “innu bandh-o strike-o vallathum undo dey ??”* He gives me one of his supremely condescending looks, glances at the clock and shakes his head, and goes back to the newspaper.

The long and short of the whole episode is that, the whole of last Monday was like walking around with shackles on your feet .Was very very boring, I tell you. So I let the stupor continue for the entire week!! :PAnd I didn’t wake up till that weekend. Had a blast last Saturday though, aise hi , usual stuff…an exorbitantly expensive haircut! That did the trick of bolting me out of the slumber! And I come back this week with my batteries recharged and a new addiction to keep me beaming through the week.

‘Stand By Me’ by Ben E King. I am absolutely in love with the song right now, and listen to it religiously whenever I get time. My mp3 player is constantly playing that track and must be going nuts in that infinite loop I have put it in .Do check out the song if you haven’t already .It’s wonderfully romantic ! Of course it’s an all time hit number which I have known for a while, just that I finally downloaded it last week, and so all the renewed raving about it.

Wish you a romantic** week ahead!

*Is there a strike or a bandh today? (In Malayalam)

**[The wide implication ;-) ]-- Characterized by strangeness or variety; suggestive of adventure; suited to romance; wild; picturesque; -- applied to scenery; as, a romantic landscape. [1913 Webster]

And darling darling

Stand ..Stand by me ,stand by me ..

When all of your friends are gone .. Wont you stand ..?

Oh...Stand by me ...

Ehsaas…

It’s a typical work day .Me racks brain over a tricky enhancement on a VBA based Excel macro. Misses the first evening bus over it .Tries some more...
An hour later,
An ID card swipes...Beep. Red to green to red...
Reaches early to find the bus near empty and its insides, dark and solemn.
A beautiful cyan lights up the tiny mp3 player’s display and dishes out Atif Aslam’s ‘Ehsaas’. Lets hair loose and lies back on the seat by the window, eyes closed, an irrepressible smile playing on my lips …

Dusk is just graying the sky as I stand on the pavement of a busy road with silent traffic and watch the neon signboards and the bright tail lamps of the cars that flow smoothly
on the wide road.
Steam spews out of fresh cream laden coffee as I lean out of the window, after the rain that has bathed the earth outside. Breeze laden with the aroma of wet soil wafts up as the music grows louder with thumping jazz overtones.
A bright orange coloured hot air balloon moves over the ocean’s blue expanse as I strain my eyes to watch the view shielding my face against the sun with one hand.

The bus is now moving over a bridge over a lake, that lies dark and glittering as we glide over it .A gust of wind tugs at my loose hair strands as I look up to the winking stars in the night sky .

....Manzil paas nahi , kya tu mere paas hai ...

My mind plays with pretty pictures captured from my life, like playing with a kaleidoscope. I see in my mind’s eye the green that stretched away from the road till the end of my sight’s reach, as I traveled on a bus along the inter-state highway that leads away from B’lore.I see the night view at Suicide Point from a college trip long ago , a valley and a vast expanse of land before me with light bulbs that looked like floating luminous yellow liquid floating in the night air .I remember losing my breath at these sights …Each vision, a picture post card out of each point of my life…

‘Hey, you dreaming ? ’
I jolt awake from the trance.
‘No daa.. .’

*sigh* back to life ….

Blogscan

Though my appearances here have become rather sporadic, my blogging isn’t really so. The reason being the company provided blog space populated by numerous enthusiastic colleagues from offices all across India and the world .My other blog with the same name in the company intranet keeps me in touch with blogging, as much as a lazy gal can be .So taking a trip to all the blogs here that I follow regularly ,I came across and liked the following

1.Ram’s photoblog ‘My Dear Memories’ which got me jealous of his SLR !!!

2.A sweet post in PS’s hugely popular blog ‘Just a mother of two’ ,whose answers I am going to give a li’l later here ..

and

3.A candid piece on a very real issue ,something I face day in and day out @ Kochuthresiamma's Pareltank. 'Are Mallu males perverts?'

My answer to which is “yes,yes,yes”[Not all of them ,but most …enough in numbers to ruin my mood every single time that I step onto the streets here ! ]

And now to get back to nicer things , lemme answer PS's questions

I am---lost.

My best friend thinks I am----sweet & sour.

My ambition----to be the best I can be .

I am inspired by---the success I see in the lives of people around me .

If I ruled the world I would----do something about the climate,water especially!

If I had one wish I would---want to meet my knight in shining armour !

Thats all for the time being..adios amigos..