The Kid Grows UP


I am joining Infy on 29th oct.
My Life-
Starting Phase 2-
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please bless..:-)

Some pain in the A($$)RM

There’s something good about pain.. like Amitabh Bachan says in one of those ads, ‘Dard main bhi kuch baath hain’, and no, I am not driving at the point that pain is what is felt more profoundly than joy, so don’t go barking up the wrong tree. I am in pain. Oh yes !!I am !!Even as I am typing this, little needles of pain are penetrating through my flesh.. So I halt ..then continue…the pain comes back again, so I decide to type with the right hand alone.. what’s the matter with me ??I had this swelling in the left hand that had to be operated out. It will just take very few days to heal, and to think of the melodrama I threw!!

But ever since we decided to get it done ,life’s been good for me. The day before was spent by my supportive folks giving me pep talks which went something like this.

Mom : Its just a tiny li’l thing ,so there’s not gonna be much pain.. don’t worry..

To that ,I do the ‘I’m a brave gurl’ nod of my head.

Dad : Awwww ,my baby girl….

I want to console him ,but can’t and end up chewing my nails..

Grandma : Tell them, and tell them sternly that you can’t stand any pain. Ask them to give you local anaesthetic lest they forget or something…lacchuuu, its really painful without anaesthetics..

I stagger a bit ,run upstairs , pack my bags and almost abscond.

Brother : Wateva!!

My response : #$#$%

But things go remarkably smooth at the hospital. The surgeon talks on incessantly ..But I know that trick, it’s the oldest trick in the book .If you ever went to a hospital and surrendered yourself willingly to a needle prick ,all the while managing a ‘please don’t kill me, I’m not done living yet’ look, you would know too. Its their own patented style of diverting the coward patient’s attention.

The doc shows me the tiniest needle on earth, just the length of an average nail.
‘These tiny things are specially designed for people as brave as you are.’
Oh yea ,that courage runs in the family.. Once when my father was one of the bystanders while one of his sisters were getting an operation done, he was so courageous that he had to be given a B.P check and was made to lie down, and gave everyone else quite a scare.

On another occasion under a similar situation ,my cousin brother proved his courage. That time, he was asked to give some of his blood for his father’s operation. The brave son promptly obliges, follows the nurse ,and five minutes later we get news that he fainted sighting his own blood, and had to be carried away from the battle-front, I mean the ICU-front!

Courage runs in this family!

I sit there gripping my eyes shut with the right hand and every muscle in my body pulled tense, the left hand stretched out for any hell that was to follow.
So the doc asks me while slitting my skin, ’Are there really benches in companies, where people are seated when they don’t have projects to work on?’
(why don’t you go n look, anyway it’s a bad joke..)

‘No ,I don’t think so’..

And then the doc says ‘tadaaaa, thank you!!’

‘wha??’

‘its done.its over’he says clapping his hands..gawd,that was quick!!

An hour later, I am back home gorging on strawberry ice cream(izz good to forget da pain..mmm..) with dad listening to the gruesome details. He hadn’t come to the hospital saying, ’You and your mom are enough for this, its not anything big so I needn’t come.’

Oh yeaa, I know you are soo brave ,daddy..So we brave gurls, amma and me, went alone.
‘Achaa, the doc was so good that I didn’t know a thing’, I manage to say between mouthfuls as he nods his head looking on lovingly, and helping with the ice cream. Earlier , just as I had walked into the house holding my left arm with my right hand, he had burst upon me ,‘Oh my darling jelly fish daughter, look what they have done to you’.
‘Jelly wha??’ I ask mom, who just walks by smiling..

Since the whole thing had taken just around 2 hours of the morning, amma who lives by the so very boring ‘work is worship’ principle ,rings up office and is told to get to office after feeding me lunch ,by her boss(from hell).Five minutes later, the same boss woman calls back and tells mom that its okay if she can’t come to office ,just in case the 21 year old baby needs intensive maternal care. But I do the brave girl act again (twice the same morn, not any more..),and lets mom go, who returns home just as I wake up after my afternoon nap, and along comes Valyamma (mom’s elder sis..one n only..)with loads more food. I sink into the couch and start on the story –telling again, the doc this, and the needle that ,and the nurse this ,and the syringe that. All refreshments are brought to me at my outpost in front of the telly, where I watch tv some ,narrate my story some ,and eat some, and then eat some more.. Later on, at the noisy and overcrowded sitting room of my cousin’s home next door where the entire joint family(we all live close by)get together for our daily dose of cable tv ,somebody vacates their precious seat for me .Usually we occupy seats on a seniority basis, or at times when push comes to shove ,through fistfights. .In return for the hassle free acquisition of the seat, I entertain them with ‘The story of my hospital visit’ during the commercial breaks.. gory details thrown in for the really small kids.

At home , I have been awarded many a luxuries(for this tiny bandage on my arm) like:-

I am exempted from getting the phone or the door bell.

I am allowed round-the-clock tv viewing.

I don’t have to go to kitchen ,the food finds me..courtesy mommy..

I am not allowed to move even a muscle

Hmmmm… I am loving it!! For me, who stopped being the centre of all attention in this house at the tender age of three ,with the coming of my brother, all the pampering looks fit for a queen. And to throw some statistics, my parents have stroked my forehead more in the last two days than the combined count for all theses years.. that’s something..

But there are downsides too:-

I don’t know when I will be able to ride my two-wheeler again.

Because of that, I can’t go to the library .shit

I can’t go out anywhere on my own, in fact. double shit

And if I can’t go out, I can’t recharge my mobile whose validity expires tomorrow. The dilemma because the other occupants of this house are lobbyists for BSNL headed by mom who is employed with BSNL. So I can’t get help recharging my Airtel SIM. Humph!!But my airtel account will last for another week, hopefully, so no sweat.

So that’s the story of my happy outing with pain!

Pain ain’t all that painful after all huh??.*smiles the serene smile*

B.l.i.n.d. Date

I had been sitting there for some time now, taking in the scene. The place did have a romantic touch. A plain glass wall ran beside me ,and I had the unhindered view of the smooth glass exteriors of the adjacent high-rise. What a view !Had it been my home town, tiny and throbbing, the view from such a spot would have been the clear blue sky, broken sporadically by coconut tree-tops. In this big city ,the sky probably is visible only to the homeless.

The coffee spewed steam from within its untouched cup. I was still contemplating whether to go ahead with it or not. On the one hand, ordering coffee the first thing in any restaurant came out of habit ,and on the other hand I had just read that coffee could be bad for health. I decide to chuck my health for the craving. From the invisible stereo system came the low, enticing voice of Atif Aslam..’zindagi ne..’ The wait had become so romantic, I could even imagine the hot Aslam himself standing by the corner and crooning. So there I sat ,on the edge of the seat, ready to fall, head over heels.. ’just make the entry ..baby..’

Ten full minutes since I had taken this window seat in this strange coffee shop. It was my first visit to that place ,was in fact surprised when he suggested the place for the get together. I frankly never knew of its existence .It sure was quiet, as he had promised, and the music was tasteful too.. for all the taste he had showed in picking this place for our first meeting ,I half imagined him to be handsome ,with deep voice ( ref:George Clooney)and deep ,brooding eyes(ref: Johnny Depp)..Oh yes, it was going to be the first real meeting, the very first time.. friends at office had teased about this being a blind date.. The call fixing this meeting had come in a bit too late for us to meet for lunch, so we had settled for the late afternoon tea ,with him suggesting this meeting spot. Though none of us newbies had heard of this place, the ‘Reserved’ plate bore the name of our company ;so this must be a frequent hangout for the senior guys. Anyways, the announcement will make it easier for him to find me. Since we had never seen each other before, the plan was that he will spot me first and come over.

God! Another 5 minutes.. How long is this man going to keep a lady waiting..? But this lady was ready to wait, ever so patiently ,for the stud to arrive..I checked my laptop the umpteenth time since that morning , going through the reports that the boss had given me and the slides that I had prepared out of them to make the persuasion easier. It was around mid morning that the boss had called me in and announced,
“Harsh wants to meet you”.As I silently voiced a “Harsh ,who??”and quickly did a mental check in my ‘friends and acquaintances’ list without a clue, the boss had simply continued talking to his laptop’s beaming LCD screen..”Harsh is from Zetpack, next only to the top guy in the evaluation team, in charge of our joint blue orange project .He had an informal meeting scheduled with Usha, but since she is off quite unexpectedly, we are sending you. She has already sent in all the required reports ,so you just take care of the presentation. ”Oh yea…a presentation..! That cake walk and the day’s job’s done..!Now,. Usha is the oldest one in our team , even older than the boss. Donno where she was, but wherever she was ,thank you for the rest of my day off. Details of the rendezvous was passed to me by the boss later on and here I am..

”Excuse me!!”, I say to the man who had suddenly seated himself opposite me ,breaking my reverie. “Harsh” says the middle aged man with greying hair ,a hand stuck out for the inaugural handshake.I let out a deep breath and gulp down a mouthful from the glass of water trying in vain to lose the w.t.h expression on my face, stands up and shakes his hand, very vigorously,almost in danger of playing up the enthusiasm melodrama. We both sit down and I promptly adjust my laptop so my face is well hidden behind its screen.

‘I heard from Raghav that Usha was off’,the voice from yonder.

‘Oh yea,Usha..is ..off.yes,she’s off today..’me,swallowing more air due to the sudden shortage in oxygen in the vicinity.Royal screwup!!

My hand emerges from behind the wall to grab the hateful cup of coffee and try to take a sip from the empty cup(whoa!its empty!!)and puts it down with a clatter onto its saucer..I shall venture a peek at his face later on,but not now..definitely not now..whew..*sweat*

Screw this crap system where everyone is called by their first names, I mean how was I to know what to expect. Now, Usha really is Mrs.Usha.. see, that makes it easier. If the boss( Mr.Raghav,’Mr’ because he is elder than me)had said Mr.Harsh, as he is elder than him, I would have gotten some idea about my..duh..blind date…wouldn’t I??

‘I hope you don’t mind the music’, the voice..

‘No...Harsh’. Screw the system! Again!

The meeting got back on track after that, with my almost-date Harsh, turning out to be a father of two, a clever management guy and a gentle man. The meeting lasted for 75 minutes in all, after which I had to get back to put in another three hours at the office.

There’s just about half an hour left now,before I call it a day,but the laugh riot in here still hasn’t subsided!!Duh!

"It was Usha's day off.Thats where it went wrong..",I laughed along..
"NO!!It was Cupid's day off!!Thats where it went haywire...........!!"