Private Emotion

The weekfull of unending rain was enough to turn the most ardent rain-worshipping pagan to a sceptic.This is not withstanding the fact that it gave me high cold and fever for four long days and nights ,and that too right after my exams got over..so , that more or less ruined my celebrations of graduation to a meek(I don’t know who else will agree to that!) caption in the orkut!!

On the third morning,somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness,I saw myself sitting in my S7 classroom,attending a lecture ,as I had done maybe a year ago..and something deep inside me was willing me to rise because my semester break was over and S8 had already begun.I woke up then,in cold sweat and gasping..i didn’t know I would miss it so much!I remember I used to see similar dreams just after my 10^th and 12^th class board exams too..

Later on,a friend of mine told me he had seen a similar dream of our s8 class too.i know I can go to my college any day,maybe for one more month or so(after that,I donno which god forsaken place I’ll be in),but still I could go there.But there will be no more of attending classes,listening to my teachers speak,no more or writing stories and commentary sneakily during boring hours,(I won’t say bunking classes ,I was a good student and didn’t indulge myself in such freedoms..),no more of the canteen chaais..why should all good things end?

‘It’s a private emotion,that fills you tonite’-Ricky Martin sings so to me ..

and I’m letting it off on you unsuspecting fellas..

I have no more bright words for now,I’m feeling soo low..

‘……….as the shadow steals the light………’

PS:making up for the slip..(more of a private indulgence..)

watch 'private emotion'

Rose
June 13,2007.

That morning ,even the sky was beautiful. 13^th of june,2006.I woke up to a light drizzle that was drenching my window panes ,and the world outside looked misty through them. It was the kind of day perfect for a dream to come true. The rain brought back memories about childhood days when june rains were symbolic of school re-openings ..the rain and the childish chatter with friends…hmm.. time to get off the bed.

The whole day lay ahead of me with nothing much to be done. My exams had just got over and it was the beginning of a week long vacation ,before college would beckon me back with another semester of engineering studies. There were no plans for that week ,not even one outing was ‘scheduled’ ..utter freedom to indulge my lassitude . The morning cup of tea with the morn’s newspaper gave me idea to go treasure hunting -–again !ha! ha! treasure hunt trips-that’s what I call my lonesome visits to the library. Sometimes ,when I have enough and more time on hand ,I just find a book and a chair and lose myself completely ,for a long while.. my treasure hunt usually entails me searching the entire lengths and breadths of the library’s stack room simply browsing ,trying to find those titles or authors which/who I find enticing at the moment . I was reading up everything written by J.M.Coetzee those days . I had finished 3 or 4 of his works and was searching for ‘disgrace’ . with two live library memberships on hand ,and one of those libraries already disappointing me ,all my hopes were pinned on the second one ,and I decided to hunt it down that day.

The inter mitten drizzle couldn’t stop me as I set off on my hunt during one of the rain’s interludes .There was a huge tree in the courtyard of the even more huge library grounds ,and at this time of the year its branches thrusted forth in profusion of lovely rose hued blooms ,as though encrusted with crystals of rose. The shade beneath the tree was carpeted with those blooms that the breeze had stolen . I breathed in the moist sweet scented air as I walked through the mud path leading up to the portico . There was a small crowd waiting to get in and I decided to wait. It was then that my eyes ,aimlessly wandering around ,met with those eyes looking at me. His gaze held me ,for some reason beyond me .The crowd suddenly started moving and I moved too ,losing those eyes again in the crowd.

I made straight to the long hall that was the stack room ,and started following the books arranged in the alphabetic order of their authors in the fiction section. My heart beat faster as I found ‘Coetzee’ .Slowly reading the titles one by one with a prayer in my heart ,I skipped a beat when my eyes fell on it -’disgrace’-my hunt had come to an end! I was taking the book out lovingly ,when a hand snatched it from the other side of the book rack .’Oh! sorry’ –I heard the voice first. As I peeped through the gap, I met with those eyes again ,and I must have involuntarily lit up with a smile ,for he smiled too.

‘I took the book first’ ,said I .’Yea ,but I need it too’-he replied. My temper rose. ’excuse me ,I came just looking for this one here.’ He said –‘can’t you get another book ,there are others from the same author. I am sure you haven’t read all of them ’ ,to which I replied ,’why don’t you do that’.It was a losing battle and he could see that. With a resigned sigh ,he handed the book back. I felt bad for him.’ Maybe ,you can reserve this one. ’he grumbled something under his breath and just walked away without replying. ’snob!’

By the time I got out of the library ,it was raining again. I stood in the portico watching the rain with my prized possession in hand, for I had forgotten to take an umbrella in the excitement of the treasure hunt. About 5 minutes later ,the rain thinned down to a drizzle, and I decided to brave it and walk to the bus stop right in front of the library .Chance was in the mood for a game ,and I saw him again, this time at the bus stop. He was secure underneath an umbrella, and eyed my book grudgingly. Seeing me getting drenched, he held out his umbrella for me. I hesitated, ’the book, its getting wet’-he said with a smile. I stepped closer with gratitude in my mind and callousness on my face.

A few of the branches of the tree hung over that spot. A gentle breeze, a slight rustle among the leaves overhead and a solemn flower tumbled down onto the umbrella. As it was falling to the ground, he caught it in mid air, and did something I considered uncharacteristic of a male. He looked at it with a smile ,and then, put it inside his bag. He looked to see if I had noticed and I promptly looked away. Slowly he turned away and looked upwards.’ This idiot is doing what I do all the time’--ogle at those flowers! So, everyone was in love with those rosy blooms! I too turned my eyes heavenwards and admired them for a long time. Then the two separate and independent gazes lowered ,slowly together and met ..and froze ..

I knew then why the gaze had fixed me in the first place that morning,they opened into a rosy heart ..’So you too like Coetzee ?’,he began .’love him’, I replied. With a hearty laughter ,he said ’no wonder you were fighting like that in there.’ blood rising to my cheeks ,I apologized profusely. ’the flowers are beautiful ,aren’t they..?’..

Oh yes, they were !and so were his light brown tinged eyes ,which twinkled merrily when he talked. The rain, the shade of the umbrella, the rosy canopy of flowers overhead ,and …those eyes ,soft brown ,like the hot chocolate melting within me..

That’s how it all started..

Ps: For your eyes only

I thank my destiny every day ,for that blessed day..

THANK YOU
*************
hello,
I checked my blog after a long time and was surprised(pleasantly so)to find approving words from one or two people kind enough to read this blog..and i wish to thank those people very much.A bloggers inspiration comes from positive responses,so i believe..so thanx for the inspiration
!

HOLIIIIIII!!!!!!!!

FAREWELL HOLI

It was the day to remember for the rest of our lives…the day we played holi, took photos like crazy and finally parted our ways..the last official working day of our college life.

The morning saw us ,the beauties of s8 IT decked up in sari,like we often did at the slightest of chances,only this time it was different,it was going to be the last of our sari sessions in college.but gorgeous we all were..

‘vasanthamullai pole.. ‘

the guys too wore traditional dresses.
the morning started off slowly with a lecture.then we began our dearest shooting spree..we collected the members of the very first gang that was formed in the college,5 of us and took photos at the s1s2 block,the block..the classroom..were we were baptized as GEC-ians and It-ians.memories ,memories..those things we did ,those words we uttered,and those days when we were just kids fresh out of school and in awe of seniors,enjoying unbound freedom..ho!it all seems to me like yesterday.

Sorry,I am diverting!its that disease called nostalgia!

Come afternoon and we all braced up for the game ….’bura na maano,holi hain!!’there were the initial glitches like when we had just a single and tiny packet of colour ,blue colour,just that.but we started it off in high spirits and in no time there were 59 people standing around literally looking blue,like we all had just plunged into a giant cauldron of blue colour!at one point of time ,we were scraping colour off painted people to paint the relatively bare faces.that’s when somebody rushed out of the class covered in bright yellow..yahoo!more ammunition!!it was a mix of hues afterwards and not much was visible for some time.when slight visibility had returned ,everyone of us were coloured from head to toe,we had all become multicoloured hooligans!when we ran out of our colourful resources,we took photos in shouting,screaming and yelling poses.those pictures were adorable,not one face was recognisable !

Somewhat drained, some of them moved to the taps in front of our classroom to ‘get neat’.2 friends and me got a brainstorm-we took the risk and walked to the taps right in front of the staffroom,there we cleaned ourselves to our hearts content,hung around in the hot sun to dry off and returned all mellow and gay to our den.but we were taken by surprise by our better equipped classmates,and were given royal showers from 2 full bottles of water before we could even say’run’!thus it was that we leaped forth into the ‘Great IT Bath’.the unspoken agenda was to soak everyone and maintain everyone in a ‘dripping’ state.there were the ‘bathed and dripping’ people chasing the ‘not soaking wet yet’ ones with water bottles.but the bottles were in short supply and we had to drag some very reluctant people to the tap ,and give them a proper shower-direct from the tap. .man!was it exhausting!
the exhilarating part in the whole thing is –the initial resistance to the bath,then once half a bottle has been emptied on your back comes the sense of hopelessness and self-surrender -you realize that the battle is lost,so you join in the fray and look for the next target –or chicken,if u like.

There were few of them who took shelter in the corridor in front of our beloved server room,hoping we wouldn’t encroach upon those sacred premises.it was no use though!such fun it is to bathe the more reluctant ones!once we had everyone bathed and ‘dripping’,quite satisfied with the days work,or game,we turned to more glamorous stuff like…our photo/video session again.though twice(not once)we suffered royal ‘thaeppu’ breaking our throats cheering and posing for video to a camera not exactly recording our misdeeds,but we were third time lucky.a dripping (read rocking)class photo too.the afternoon had turned us into hungry lions and we collectively stormed the canteen.5 mins after our entry ,the few EC staff who were the only non-s8IT-ians in the area ,fled..must be evidence enough for the racket. Never once ,in our 4 years here,had our classroom look so filled-up, as did the canteen today evening.there was a round of chair-fight to fill in the entertainment slot.there was also a round table discussion(chalu competition)as we cooled off,or rather dried off.having sufficiently drained our energies for one day,we finally split up..aww,the awful part that one.

In between all the fun and uproar, 1 or 2 broken links that were ,quietly clicked into place,just like that-like magic!and that was the best part.it was the day that reminded me of our initial days in GEC-the fun and the innocence.

Ps(to my classmates):-

We had one hell of a holi mates..lovya all..

check check!!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Reminiscence of college life

---------------------------------

All will agree with me when I say ,memories are the best part of life. as they come flooding to me tonite,I cant but share a few with you.

In the chronological order:-

Rudest shock of my life----day 1 in college;I actually saw a cow grazing near the principal’s office window!!I had come for my admission;and I didn’t knw if I should run or stay.well,I just did.

Most silent day --- day 2 in college.that’s wen the classes started.(ha ha)

Most friendly eyes--- lemi’s.day3

Scariest person---nalini ma’am.(my knees still go weak tryin to decide whether to smile or just walk on)

Then a lot of self intro’s and hi’s later

When I enjoyed d most---ragging anju on her first day in s1s2.she did d action song 4 ‘twinkle twinkle’.(HA HA HA)

Most memorable evenings---wen prema and I would skip d cllg bus jus 4 d sake of a slow walk till we ran out of things 2 banter abt, n 4 d cold tea n 'vadai'* from LMS canteen.

First time an utter stranger lukd soo familiar----dats secret(wink!)

Most exciting event of cllg—first cllg election v witnessed..wen d KSU pulis still roamed d GEC jungle..i had talked myself hoarse d day bfore..and ofcorse’ INSIGNIA

Sweetest voice of our campus—sandeep bose..i still remember his ‘i’ll b 2 steps behind you’ for valentine’s day’04..our first in d college..

Most Inspiring GEC-ian--- gokul b alex..dearest ex-union chairman.i recall his heated arguments about d rise of communism in soviet union(overheard) ,with a thoroughly dumbfound open-mouthed it-doesn’t-matter-who.

He would talk passionately about literature n exhort to write like mad whenever n on whatever topic possible.n never too busy 2 listen 2 ‘juniors’.

Most useful times spent on campus—d quiz club sessions..jus memories now

Biggest surprise---VGK afterall turned out b not-so-hostile,friendly even(at times)

Lectures I enjoyed d most—balu sir,d great!(though d lab exams wer hell)

Lecturer who constantly got on my nerves—crybabe!you know who.!

Achievement of our class—INSIGNIA

Personal best team effort---‘vainottam’**---viji n i.(v r working overtime these days ..so few days left!!)

On a serious note---THE MIME(spcl thanx 2 rekha.ab jaana ‘tholikkatti’ kis chees ki naam hai)

Silly li’l things----

I lov---

our outpost near d s1s2 classes under d tree(its gone now,it was d best ‘viewpoint’ ever)

cushion chairs of s3(how v fought d day it came)

d steps near s3-s4 classses (second best ‘viewpoint’)

CN lab---100 mbps is simply too good..i cant get over it!!

Special thanx—canteen-thanx 4 d innumerable teas n puffs over d years----I remember too,d innumerable times you were pure torture saying ‘evide onnumilla’.

Cooler!!---d GEC-ians one n only waterhole!!

Combined study sessions @ chitra’s…exam special..

Unforgettable bombshell!! IV –I am speechless here..

Object of affection-----the ‘vishuchedi’(konna tree)on d way 2 d drawing hall.

Last vishu,it made me wait long n hard 4 d first blooms,but once it started blooming ,d tree remained golden for a long time!!

I hope nobody cuts it down in d name of development

Heartbreak---to see our dearest football ground now resemble mars with all its craters!!

I hav purposefully left out d big events-things everybody knw.

Endnote---

How I wish for!!-----a class reunion yrs from now,’classmates’ style!!(n pls don’t anybody think of a murder!lets not spoil d fun,plsss!!)

Ps—now that u hav read my memories,do something in return.post urs too

‘oru paalam ettaal angottum engottum vendey?’***

*south-indian delicacy

**checking people out

***return the favour

WAITING FOR SESSIONALS
****************************
University exams postponed right in the middle of the exam season,project proposal presentation ,and now to top it all..this unnerving wait for the release of the sessional marks.When scraping past the 35-mark line in itself will be achievement for me..something otherwise would be nothing short of disaster.well.lets see..
I was just browsing idly,when i came across this handy chat tool integrated inside your gmail mailbox,hmmm quite usefull!its not easily visible!!somebody their had the brains and goodwill to make an inconspicuous chat client.
WHOAAA..cheersss!The good news just came in,i passed the lakshman rekha-the 35 mark line;i've actually scored 40.wat peace!
ok ,till i hav more idle time and free online access to blosser,its bye from me,manoranjini.XXX

FOR WANT OF SOMETHING BETTER TO DO
Since time was aplenty and nothing of pressing urgency to tend to,i thought i might as well try my luck with a third post.The last week was spent on just planning topics and the research to go with for a blasting new blog that i was planning.Topics were not hard to come by,nor were the ideas to be written ,the only problem seemed to be time..as always,this one factor kept delaying the launch of my pet new blog.
Being a college student sure comes with strings attached.One would think one had seen the last of assignments and class tests(surprise tests!!!) in junior school-no sir!even being a final year student doesnt help much here.What with juniors with 'attitude' gone are the days of seniors getting their assignments done by juniors.
I could list another n reasons for not getting time enough to write.but the bottom line remains the same,i havent blogged for a while now

Three Beautiful Things

It sure feels nice to see my words published for the whole world to see ..only hope someone cares to see!!.

Hello world,
Announcing the birth of a new blogger ,with promises galore of sprightly new dreams dressed in the finest of words and bedecked in the classiest of poetry!!