The Rustic Charm of Ruskin Bond

Writing comes more easily to me when I have music in the background. Or is it that I lose myself in the music, get into the mood and write whatever captures the mood? If there’s any flow at all that’s there in my writing, it is due to the music. It’s also why most of the stuff here are just dreamy. If I were given one topic and then asked to write about it, I would find it boring - the eternal drifter that I am. Drifting brings me to what is holding me in sway these days - Ruskin Bond. My Orkut status already says so.

Ruskin Bond is one author I hadn’t had the chance to read much till now. He is also not whom I would pick, had I much of a choice of selection. Not mush reason for that except ignorance and negligible exposure to his works .I do remember though the short story of the blind girl the author meets in the train to Dehra Dun, that was part of our school syllabus. Though its titled ‘The Eyes Have It’ , in the book I’m hooked to right now – ‘The Best of Ruskin Bond’ - a collection of his stories , poems ,essays and what not ;I am certain the English Reader text had a different name for the story . It’s a love story – the story of a short, sweet romance. Couldn’t suppress a smile when I thought back about those school days when I was ‘taught’ this story .It never did strike me as a love story then. Not at all …. I read it now, and it’s a discovery that the author meant it as a love story. I was probably too young to recognize the faint scent of a tender romance that was the mood of the story. Or was it that the repetitious explanation from the teacher had killed the spirit of the story? A poem or a story cannot be ruined further than by explaining it. When you take a poem , read two lines and explain the meaning , take down the new words and their meanings ,delve deep into the metaphors and the similes ,you are actually dissecting it –literally opening its tummy and looking inside before even seeing the creature in its entire beauty and form . Should not! Not before you give it a full reading at least once, feel the flow and the mood, and lose some time in thinking about it. I guess you wouldn’t get the whole picture otherwise.

Take the story in question – the girl is going to Saharanpur and the author,all the way, to Dehra .So where is the girl going ,children ?? Saharanpur …we bellow .. and the that’s what gets the emphasis ,and that’s what stays in our mind .Tsk tsk .. Totally needless details get the spotlight and poor li’l romance is sidelined. But then, we were children and not to be spoilt with discourses on how the author’s heart went out to the girl .

I digress.

Back to Ruskin Bond.The office library is nothing much to write home about, holding in its general reading section, nothing much other than the how-to guides: the quintessential loser’s guide. Need I say more? I detest self-help literature .Period! So it was a relief to spot ‘The Best of Ruskin Bond’ among such wastage of precious paper like the afore mentioned genre of books. Grabbed it ,started reading and was hooked .The very first story ,’The eyes have it ’, was like the ‘hi there ,remember me ’ from a long lost friend .RB writes candid and simple prose that is heavily nostalgic about his boyhood days in Dehra dun and Mussorie . Most of it reads like first hand accounts of his life, as the ones that are shared among friends over a cup of tea, reminiscing the good old days. He describes his growing up years in the naturally bountiful hill station ,where he had all the time to wonder and be fascinated by nature , the many plants and trees and animals that he talks about with great familiarity, making the reader pine to go back to their own childhoods and relive it once again .As I have said here time and again , I am perpetually infatuated with childhood .For me ,its the best part of one’s life ,and I was always reluctant to grow up .I remember how sad I was to grow up and leave school ,and then later on ,college . It’s a tragedy that we cannot stop the years , live as much as we want is in our favorite age , and then continue with life when we are up for it .

He talks just as easily and eloquently about all the stages of life, from boyhood, to his late teens in London and after .There are also simple, lovely poems that can be enjoyed in one read, like a deep lungful breath of sweet fragrance. Would sign off recommending Ruskin Bond for company for the times when you feel wistfully nostalgic and want to go back in time. On that slow dusk watching the sun wave good bye , sipping sweet black tea , get on that hammock and stretch out with a copy of ‘The Best Of Ruskin Bond’ .

BGM

Track - I am born again.

Album – Oceans of Fantasy

Band - BoneyM

Long live love!

“Kadalinu karayodiniyum paadaan snehamundo ....?
Mezhukuthirikalaay urukaan iniyum pranayam manassilundo....?? ”

Does that feeling exist in all of its purity or honesty any more? You will need to say a lot to convince me it does .I, for one, am skeptical that love exists – in the full sense of the word where it’s divinely liberating and intoxicatingly uplifting for the soul. I would prescribe music and literature as soul feed instead. Is love even what it is made out to be? I mean, c’mon, is it even that big a deal?

By these musings , I in no way mean to indicate that I have been untouched by the vagaries of romance .Though the story itself is for another day ,I just don’t want you to shake your head sympathetically saying ,”What do you know…” . All I mean is that love is not a very conveniently practical everyday solution. It’s good for the books, for the reminiscences of a slow dusk. In the extreme cases the possibility of future love even makes arranged marriage between utter strangers possible and keeps our civilization going in India. Thanks to this delusional myth for that, cos by the time people realize love is nothing like The love, the illusion has worn off.

The most sublime, uncalculated and in that sense, honest, love happens in the adolescences and mostly in colleges. This feeling has its expiry date set even before it starts for the farewell day of college .The author has seen only too many lovers part ways without the slightest of doubts in their minds. After college, since most people get into jobs and are busy shaping their careers, I doubt anyone pretty much even finds time for love. I have no clue what marriage stands on, since I have already declared that I am a non-believer. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say, the institution of arranged marriage is based on convenience .While choosing a partner in India’s erstwhile AM system, people carefully investigate the social, educational and financial status of prospects, and try to attain a balance as perfect as possible. This could be picturised as the bride and the groom being seated on the two plates of a weighing machine, balancing each other off in each of the above mentioned parameters. Love is nowhere in the picture though. Oh yes, the match making is done all cleverly in the heads of the elders, with love, supposed to just happen since all the parameters have the perfect values required for that chemistry .
I frankly fail to understand how people agree to marry on something as vague as such a prediction . Ah, the myth though still lives ….

Love is a beautiful concept though and is best left unexplained. It’s not supposed to be like anything known before and in that sense, no comparison can ever do it justice .Its most powerful proponents are music and literature, and love finds it’s most exciting expressions in them. For ages now, love has lived in all its truth and vigour, in music and literature and they in return ,have thrived on love .I don’t mind love being a delusional myth , as long as it feeds fire to imagination and creativity ,for, if nothing else, I am a lover of words and songs .

Long live love!

PS- My first post for 2010.Rock the year folks !

Verse Ofcourse !


A curse on my uninviting mailbox
Looks like it's under a hoax
For there's nothing new or fun in there
To make me smile even once in a while!

Cross I am with all those blogs
I regularly visit and turn back disappointed
Cos no new posts have they for me either
To make me think and ponder awhile.

A bolt of lightning on the idiot box
For all the boring shows and thousand channels
Bloodier are the reruns
Of anything nice they might once have had!

Cannot even turn to my all time love
In good stead they have stood me so long
My dearest pals ,my good old books
For I'm recovering from a Coelho overdose.

And so I take a path I've trodden so less
That of verse and rhyming words
As a last resort or escape
This here is what came out as a result.

Hoping someone would read it atleast
And that one wouldn't hate it too much
Mayn't be good but what the heck
That's the best and all that there is for now !!

Can I have my childhood back?

I still have mountains to climb,

And creeks to swim in .

I wanted to play some more in the rain ,

And kick in the slush muddier.

I missed to make friends with some of ‘em I met on the way,

I forgot to pick some more fights with those I played with .

There are fantasies yet to be shared with wide eyed mates,

And some more adventures to plan during lazy afternoons.

Should have fallen and broken my skin some more,

So there could be more scars to show off from childhood games.

There are still more rainbows to follow with eyes lost to the skies,

Umpteen butterflies to mumble to, as they twittered uncaringly,

Some more flowers to gaze wide upon with admiration

Some more curious fishes in the pond I am yet to touch.

Tantrums and sulks a few more for my hunger for attention

I know some more stuff to show off to the younger kids

Walls yet to be etched with crude pencil and chalks

Stones to be flung farther off into the muddy pond

There are still tiny lotus blooms in there

To be worn around the neck, with their long stalks

Stories from my granny to listen to

There sure must be more tales of the kings and their battles.

Treasure troves of good things still hidden from me

Too precious, all of them, to let go

Can I have my childhood back please?

For I still have mountains to climb

And some more creeks to swim in …

Back to childhood

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. -- Kahlil Gibran

It was to see this longing, and to reaffirm my faith in the purpose and beauty of life, that I decided to volunteer for the ‘Rural Reach Program’ sponsored by the company. As part of the program, a team of employees from the company visit a rural school, sometimes with high drop out rates, and try to reach out to the children, mostly from poor families. The target audience is the children from 5th, 6th and 7th classes who do not get much exposure to computers. There we tell them about the basics of computers and let them explore and use our laptops in an effort to get them interested and generally acquainted with computers.

My life was just turning around the same spot, and boringly so too. Blame it on the recession, the general work trends in the IT industry, marriage brouhaha, or whatever else; nothing seemed to expedite the recovery. That’s when I remembered about my forgotten quest for a purpose in life, around the time I read this in Abhi’s blog. That touched a chord… a very lazy, lethargic chord in me twanged feebly, enough to make me decide on giving up a lazy Saturday to meet a bunch of naughty, high-energy and absolutely adorable kids!

We had a program scheduled for 2.5 hours wherein we would tell them a bit about computers, show them some basic apps like Word and Paint, discuss about civic sense with them, a tiny li’l G.K quiz and then let them play games on our lappies. The kids were broken up into groups of ten and a group of ten 6th grade boys were assigned to me and my mate. No sooner had we opened the laptop than they started chattering away excitedly among themselves -

“Athu kanda da ?Haaai athu pullinte padam alle ?” [Did u see that? Isn’t that grass in that picture? *Windows desktop wallpaper :-)]
“Ohh , ithu gnan nerathe kandittundu” [Oh, I have seen this before ]
“chechi-de peru enthiru ? ” [What’s your name, sis?]
“ithu namukku tharuvo?” [Will you give it to us? * The lappy!!! :-O]

Thus started off our exciting interaction with these tiny bundles of energy, brimming with questions and at times, shooting very frank comments! They took turns typing their names in MS Word, slowly finding each alphabetic key, getting tensed when they typed something wrong, and egging each other on …As part of the Kerala government’s promotion of Linux and open source software for it’s IT education in schools, what little exposure they had had, was in Linux .It surprised me pleasantly when they asked me to give them TuxPaint .We had to make do with MS Paint though, but they were just too eager to lap it all up.

They had spotted the bright blue coloured gift kits we had brought for them in cartons, and I told them the truth when questioned about it. Big mistake! They kept shaking their heads in disbelief, and just wouldn’t take my word that it was for everyone and that the same gift would be given to everyone. Apparently, they had been subjected to differential treatment way too often to believe that they were all going to be treated to the same gift for once. But it helped me get the racket under control with a simple ,”Do you guys even want the gift?” ,to which they would promptly quieten down and get back to their chairs ,finger on lips and arms crossed over their chests .Did I tell you ,they were simply adorable !

The children had very good awareness when it came to civic senses and I did away with the entire preachy bit. Come games time, and you could see ten kids glued to my lappie ,an entangled mass of heads and arms in front of a glaring screen accompanied by unbelievable din .Needless to say ,I loved the mess and was right in the middle explaining the moves and showing them how to play .We took turns playing Pacman ,that old game I played at school when I was the same age ,and I humbly state the fact that I was the highest scorer in our bunch! So I was allowed by the kids to assist them while playing .Yea … We were comrades in arms and I handled the down and left arrows for them!

In no time, it was time for us to wind up but not before getting their feedback .They had to mark their feedback on a scale of 4 to 1, 4 being the highest. As I explained each question to them, they scurried to mark their response as soon as I told them what 4 stood for. That was kind of you, guys! The naughtiest one though would say “1” as he bent over his covered paper and marked four for me and looked back with a mischievous grin. They told me they loved the program and kept on asking me to return some day and teach them some more.
“Eni ennu varum?Adutha Saturday varumo ? ” [When will you come next? Will you come back next Saturday?]
I smiled “Yes”
The naughtiest one shook his head sadly,”Eni varilla,veruthe parayunnathanu ”
[You won’t come back, you are lying]
How many promises made to you have been broken, my child, for you to have that kind of sad sarcasm in you …?
I was heart broken, but smiled “Yes” again.

That is the saddest part of meeting children. You grow so fond of each other in such a short while that it invariably breaks your heart when it’s time to leave. They take leave in the hope that we will meet again soon, and as they wave goodbye to me happily, I have to smile over a broken heart because only I, of the two, know that we may never meet again. Our paths may not cross again, but may the learning and the fun of the whole experience inspire them to not drop out of school but to stay on and learn more. Each one of the kids I met has it in him/her to do well; I pray that life gives them a fair shot …

I come back from the program, my fascination for life, greatly replenished!!!

Footnote -
Dear God,
They are such talented children; please keep an eye out for them.

The School-Maathasherrikkulam Malyalam medium UP School,Attingal.

Why Am I an MJ Fan?

These last few days, some non-MJ fans have been asking me that question, though I am still surprised that there are people in our generation who belong to that category. And all I can say is that, I am lost for words for any explanation.

Some things are so intense that they can only be felt, not explained.The moment you try to explain it, you dilute its intensity and it no longer is what you set out to capture in words. In a way, words are too small for that feeling.

This line of poem from yesterday’s memorial service stayed on with me and to all MJ fans of this world, I have only this to repeat,
“In the loss of our treasure, though we are many, we are all achingly alone … “

And to MJ himself,
I love you, MJ.
You were the best, you are and you will, forever be, The Best.
May your soul find eternal peace .
***

Stand By Me

Last week was the groggiest one of my life; exactly because I spent the most of it in a state of impenetrable grogginess. Last Monday morning went something like this .I drag myself out of the bed past 7.15 am when I have a bus to catch at 8 am by taking an auto to the pick-up spot. I further drag my sleepy self down the flight of stairs to the ground floor (thank god I didn’t slip and fall and break my neck. Come to think of it now, that would have given me a week off!! ).

Seated in the drawing room sofa I find my younger bro who had risen early like an ideal student ,even taken his bath and reading the morning’s newspaper! Again, thank god he didn’t take after me ..though I keep reminding him, “I was way better than you when I was a student myself ,so don’t give me that sneer!”.So I ask this dude in the process of enlightening himself, “innu bandh-o strike-o vallathum undo dey ??”* He gives me one of his supremely condescending looks, glances at the clock and shakes his head, and goes back to the newspaper.

The long and short of the whole episode is that, the whole of last Monday was like walking around with shackles on your feet .Was very very boring, I tell you. So I let the stupor continue for the entire week!! :PAnd I didn’t wake up till that weekend. Had a blast last Saturday though, aise hi , usual stuff…an exorbitantly expensive haircut! That did the trick of bolting me out of the slumber! And I come back this week with my batteries recharged and a new addiction to keep me beaming through the week.

‘Stand By Me’ by Ben E King. I am absolutely in love with the song right now, and listen to it religiously whenever I get time. My mp3 player is constantly playing that track and must be going nuts in that infinite loop I have put it in .Do check out the song if you haven’t already .It’s wonderfully romantic ! Of course it’s an all time hit number which I have known for a while, just that I finally downloaded it last week, and so all the renewed raving about it.

Wish you a romantic** week ahead!

*Is there a strike or a bandh today? (In Malayalam)

**[The wide implication ;-) ]-- Characterized by strangeness or variety; suggestive of adventure; suited to romance; wild; picturesque; -- applied to scenery; as, a romantic landscape. [1913 Webster]

And darling darling

Stand ..Stand by me ,stand by me ..

When all of your friends are gone .. Wont you stand ..?

Oh...Stand by me ...

Ehsaas…

It’s a typical work day .Me racks brain over a tricky enhancement on a VBA based Excel macro. Misses the first evening bus over it .Tries some more...
An hour later,
An ID card swipes...Beep. Red to green to red...
Reaches early to find the bus near empty and its insides, dark and solemn.
A beautiful cyan lights up the tiny mp3 player’s display and dishes out Atif Aslam’s ‘Ehsaas’. Lets hair loose and lies back on the seat by the window, eyes closed, an irrepressible smile playing on my lips …

Dusk is just graying the sky as I stand on the pavement of a busy road with silent traffic and watch the neon signboards and the bright tail lamps of the cars that flow smoothly
on the wide road.
Steam spews out of fresh cream laden coffee as I lean out of the window, after the rain that has bathed the earth outside. Breeze laden with the aroma of wet soil wafts up as the music grows louder with thumping jazz overtones.
A bright orange coloured hot air balloon moves over the ocean’s blue expanse as I strain my eyes to watch the view shielding my face against the sun with one hand.

The bus is now moving over a bridge over a lake, that lies dark and glittering as we glide over it .A gust of wind tugs at my loose hair strands as I look up to the winking stars in the night sky .

....Manzil paas nahi , kya tu mere paas hai ...

My mind plays with pretty pictures captured from my life, like playing with a kaleidoscope. I see in my mind’s eye the green that stretched away from the road till the end of my sight’s reach, as I traveled on a bus along the inter-state highway that leads away from B’lore.I see the night view at Suicide Point from a college trip long ago , a valley and a vast expanse of land before me with light bulbs that looked like floating luminous yellow liquid floating in the night air .I remember losing my breath at these sights …Each vision, a picture post card out of each point of my life…

‘Hey, you dreaming ? ’
I jolt awake from the trance.
‘No daa.. .’

*sigh* back to life ….

Blogscan

Though my appearances here have become rather sporadic, my blogging isn’t really so. The reason being the company provided blog space populated by numerous enthusiastic colleagues from offices all across India and the world .My other blog with the same name in the company intranet keeps me in touch with blogging, as much as a lazy gal can be .So taking a trip to all the blogs here that I follow regularly ,I came across and liked the following

1.Ram’s photoblog ‘My Dear Memories’ which got me jealous of his SLR !!!

2.A sweet post in PS’s hugely popular blog ‘Just a mother of two’ ,whose answers I am going to give a li’l later here ..

and

3.A candid piece on a very real issue ,something I face day in and day out @ Kochuthresiamma's Pareltank. 'Are Mallu males perverts?'

My answer to which is “yes,yes,yes”[Not all of them ,but most …enough in numbers to ruin my mood every single time that I step onto the streets here ! ]

And now to get back to nicer things , lemme answer PS's questions

I am---lost.

My best friend thinks I am----sweet & sour.

My ambition----to be the best I can be .

I am inspired by---the success I see in the lives of people around me .

If I ruled the world I would----do something about the climate,water especially!

If I had one wish I would---want to meet my knight in shining armour !

Thats all for the time being..adios amigos..

... Keep your face to the light ...

----- Lost in the greenery -----

In Love

Aarghh Finally ....

I finally got my very own Calvin n Hobbes gadget (not as in I own it ...)on my very own blog (yea..this one I very much own)!Finally!!!What an achievement ... I feel like I cleared SCJP ;YEssss...So what's all the hype about ?I have been trying hard ,not like in the eyes-glued-to-the-monitor style but like in the slumped-on-the-chair-and-typing-with-one-finger hardwork mode ,for over quarter of an hour to get this thingy added but with each gadget in Blogger's gadget link showing up broken ,or worse giving me the ray of hope by adding without content(showing me a bloody red X!).So finally after traversing scores of Calvin links , I got this one to work !All that hardwork definitely needs to show and thats why I have the gadget right on top ,just so nobody misses it .Does 'nobody' even read my blog ?Duh!

Calvin n Hobbes has caught my imagination and totally enslaved me these days ,just the way J.M.Coetzee did with 'Youth' years ago ,and nothing or nobody has been able to do before or afterwards...Yea ,I guess I am growing up backwards ,but that's alright if its gonna be thiss fun!!!My passions have always been the binge variety ,wherein I taste of it a little in the begining,if it appeals to me I take a second helping and then a third and then forget the rest of the world ,leave the fork and spoon behind and climb into the cauldron and lose myself till I am smug in the satisfaction that I have now chomped down enough to hibernate and gloat till my next love finds me .When my eyes go hazy talking about something , you know that it has been one of my loves.My love affairs till date go something like this (Only those which stole my heart and made me love-sick ,so this is just a teensy-weensy subset)

Since I learned to read till class 5 -Baalarama,Amar Chitra Katha.(Tons of others,but these two where my chart topping infatuations)

Class 5,6-Famous Five(I two timed with Secret Seven!)

Calss 7,8-Hardy Boys(Wonder why Nancy Drew got a step-motherly treatment)

Class 9-Agatha Christie(esp the Hercule Poirot ones.My favouritest AG till date is 'The Mysterious Case of Mr.Quinn'.I am torn between my love for several AG titles actually.)& Ofcourse Sherlock Holmes (This I binged till I read all of SH titles back to back)

Class 10-Erle Stanley Gardner(I still rememeber how I trembled in love for this one!)

Class 11,12-NO Nothing ... :( Every Indian kid knows why .. this was the time when for lack of any extra-curricular book to read,I binged on poetry that was in our ISC syllabii.My first baby footsteps into reading poetry,which I promptly forgot as soon as I got the sligtest chance to get back to anything prose.

College (4 loong years )-Year one saw me wine and dine with Ben Okri .Yea ,I was disillusioned and Okri is better than, and a convenient alternative to ,getting high on grass.The arrangement suited me anyways ...On second thoughts ,college was one long year and three fast ones.The fast three had me addicted to J.M.Coetzee!This is when I felt that I may have finally met the love of my life and felt a sense of reassuarance that I need seek no further.It was just JM and me ...*sigh*until I finished off almost all of his acclaimed works of fiction ...and I was forlorn again..Lest I miss out , I also had a fling with Harry Potter those days ,finally succumbing to pressure from all sides and one lazy holiday with not one other grown-up's book available but the HP3!I can't thank Renjitha,my class 12 mate,enough , for she was the one who kept pleading with me to read HP which the arrogant me had then brushed away with ,'I seriously don't enjoy children's literature anymore,please excuse...'.Guess the punishment for my impudence was the years I spent untouched by HP magic!

At Work(till a few days ago)- Paulo Coelho.This is when I moved from depending heavily on libraries for my romantic indulgences ,and started buying books.Though I had got a bitter first taste of Coetzee with 'Eleven Minutes',I lasted and got hooked to PC with my next sip in the form of 'The Alchemist'(Thanx to my cousin bro for persuading me to give PC another chance!)In PC ,I found someone who asked the same questions that I asked and what's more ,he went on to answer/explain some of those exasperating doubts in his own ways which appealed to me in a huge way.Thus began my scour for anything PC which lasted until a while ago till I had then obtained almost all the popular and talked about titles except for one which has eluded me till now ,'By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept'

Now that the pendulum of my love for PC is coming to a faltering halt, I have met Calvin n Hobbes ,both of whom incidentally hate girls !As a sign of how love-struck I am with these two ,Calvin especially (blush..) I let the Calvin gadget adorn my blog's forehead and allow it to sit there staring out at anyone who passes by.I am also attracted to the likes of Dilbert and Garfield,but I guess for now ,Calvin comics is where my heart truly belongs...

For all my pomposity of being single ,this post reveals to the world the secret behind my life long singlehood - I was always in love !Ssshhhh.... "I am single!" .Oh Yeaaaa ;-)

PS to my loves:Forgive if I have missed any one of you.My cobweb of a memory is far insignificant when compared to the true love I have had for you..Rest assured that you are safe in my heart !Cheesy ??? Well,this is just between me and my love ,so please excuse....

....... The Last Leaf .........

Untouched ...
Another time ,another day, I may come forward and kiss your forehead to tell you are the one;today I am too caught up with my life ...
I wanted to stay but can't, because I got to keep moving though I dont know where it is I am going ...
I think I will remember you as one of my charming unfulfilled dreams,but today I shall bid you good bye,again ..


Dediated to the volume of Orhan Pamuk's 'My Name Is Red' acquired by me months ago and yet untouched!

Do you have a similar story to tell ?Well , I'm listening ...

River Of Thoughts
---------------------------------------
A monotonous guitar note kept playing in an infinite loop in my thoughts rendering every thought of mine with a melancholy touch. I looked up at the blue expanse overhead and let the river of thoughts flow unhindered until they would quieten down on their own, for I hoped for some peace at the end of that flood. Sunlight beat down upon my face as I sat there on the low wall surrounding the garden, eyes fixed at an invisible focus above me through the clump of tree leaves.

They tried to bring me back from the madness and kept asking me to come back inside .They seemed concerned for me, but they wouldn’t understand even if I explained. The river has to flow its course; madness is to try to control it or worse, stop it. The river has a will of its own and it’s far beyond my will over my self. The sun, I will have to bear in order to gaze the sky in its eyes.

Birds twittered around me annoyingly; I wish they would stop disturbing me for their noise was drowning the guitar strums my thoughts played on. My breathing turned to heaving as the hot air got heavy and beads of sweat rolled down my forehead. I had to be patient and wait for the tide to roll over. Then I could go back inside into the cool comforts indoors, but not before that. I even wondered what the river was trying to say-but it spoke an alien tongue. I could gather familiar words here and there if I tried hard, but they weren’t coherent.
The river just ran on insanely, spitting condemn and roaring with anger. I feared it may boil over onto the banks and singe me; I hated that I had no control over it and that I just had to watch it flow, with trepidation, from its shores. I also hated its force and its utter unwillingness to obey. If it was up to me , that river would have flown peacefully ,kissing the sands and caressing the stones in its bed and just being pretty to look at like all those rivers are in the pictures, but my private river was turbulent and vicious, crushing the stones and the shells and constantly threatening the shores with menace. It was in a bad mood today, and I was waiting for it to calm down… waiting in the sun till the river ran its course....

[ Written under the influence of 'GoodBye Blue Sky-Pink Floyd'. ]

PS: The guitar finds repeated mention in this blog, cos I prolly am addicted to its sound and can’t think of any other instrument right now. It may well be a momentary love affair, like all others in my life too.

PPS: I have developed a sudden unexplainable liking for the semi-colon!

FIGHT CLUB
Just couldn't resist drooling all over this one, once again!And this time I had to say it aloud!
Soo many kickass dialogues ! Jim Uhls rocks !
Here goes my favourite one -
Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
This post is labelled 'random' precisely bcos of its nature ;its just that a gigantic wave of crazy admiration hit me n swept me off my feet ..Random!! ..I knw..
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=2QgFWXLN-ug

Letting Go...
It’s early in the morning and an overcast sky clothes the sleepy earth. Wisps of mist hang over the skin of the lake like a half-kiss tempted to touch but held back..The waters are inky grey as though reading the sky’s mind.. A chill in the air and a gust of wind as I stand on the bridge that cuts the lake’s vein. Life hasn’t woken up yet , the sun’s only just clambering out of sleep … stray early birds skimmed the skies ..Picture perfect! I couldn’t have held it back any more. I let the kiss go ..and touch.. the waters .. I am letting go …

CHILL MAADI
#^*(~_)_(%$^#%$#@

Too tired (read bored) with work and craving for some respite, I decided to take a look at the familiar, comforting page of my blog and found a tag there. So there was the outlet for all my pent up emptiness lying neatly in a list of soul searching questions. Still in the hangover, I wrote straight out of the top of my head…Thanks a ton Abhi for this tag – the effortless pressure vent!
Most questions are difficult to answer if its about you .Sometimes you can’t accept the honest answer, some other times you would rather deceive than be truthful …and sometimes...You just don’t know...Plainly, painfully...dont know...lemme see how much I know me...
I am: a dreamer
I think: a lot! Winding, never ending and not-so-pleasant thoughts.
I know: that there has to be some purpose which I am to fulfill with my life .I don’t know what yet!
I want: to know what it is that I should fulfill
I have: tons of energy and enthu; but no direction.
I wish: I never will need to wish,’If I could live my life again....’ Wanna do it right the first time!
I hate: Mediocrity...Though that seems to be the most celebrated thing now.
I miss: Childhood...When you didn’t need a reason to be happy.
I fear: failure?? NO!! I fear not having the guts to attempt what I really want.
I hear: (easy) Pink Floyd mostly these days...
I smell: not! I bath! :-P
I crave: for peace of mind.
I search: for some meaning in life
I wonder: eternally ...’what is my purpose …?’
I regret: deeply, for being too unforgiving to a childhood best mate...
I love: everything and everyone .I am soo mesmerized with this world
I ache: for freedom of expression/way of life/being me
I was not: i dont know this one
I am not: arrogant...Just too easy on myself.
I cry: when I am helpless...And I have noticed that people act kinder to you afterwards .so crying aint that bad...
I believe: in principles .They act as the anchor when life tends to stray.
I dance: from my soul...Dance is an expression of freedom
I sing: -do-
I read: so I may live .Books work like oxygen for me.
I don’t always: shut up and end the argument because I ran out of points .I just realize that we are on parallel plains and will never understand .I don’t believe in winning arguments by force .
I fight: for the causes I believe in .Unfairness is the most common foe.
I write: my heart out in my diary, so that I will always know the thoughts that I thought and the things that I did.
I win: hearts with my smile, and pals with my genuineness.
I lose: heart at obstacles, which I know is very bad...
I never: lie! Unless my life depended on it!
I always: try to look at the brighter side.
I confuse: with numbers a lot .wth.
I listen: attentively and help others unburden.
I can usually be found: with headphones plugged in.
I am scared: of not being the best that I can be in this life.
I need: to be loved and pampered, for optimum performance!!
I am happy: about the world around me; not sure about the world within...
I imagine: a life full of music and sunshine, with purpose and cheer.

Now I invite anyone who needs a respite from life to take up this tag...No formalities here okay .Help yourself and do the tag , or feel at home and leave a comment or two ;whatever you feel like ..Dont let life outsmart you .

Chill maadi !!

Bloggers' Block
~~~~~~ ~~~~

I look all around me for that elusive bugger called inspiration to pen down something for my blog and I see the same neon signboard in each of those directions-‘You have reached a Blogger’s Block!’.Shucks man..
So I take refuge in this tag I saw in my best pal’s blog..

Disclaimer : Umm..folks ,I am not even attempting humour so relax ,you don’t need to understand the comedy of anything that may sound witty ,its just an accident!

1.LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER?
Race in PVR.
My colleague had put forth the suggestion thus..
‘Hey lets go for race!’,which led me to think the guys were becoming adventurous for the weekend.So that weekend I turned up at Forum ready to be the awe-struck witness , and ended up watching Saif n Bips indulge in quite a race..

2.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Alchemist by Paulo Coelho..
‘When you want something , the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Keyboarding!!Scrabbles too

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
I soo love RD.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Is anything cooking?

6. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
The hustle and bustle of our busy food courts and my pals chattering away . I enjoy watching them chattering amongst themselves and feel the merry mood that settles upon us.Those are the times when I feel that the world, after all ,may not be that bad..or boring..I love my friends!

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Used to happen frequently during my short stint at the Bangalore office.

At exactly 5 mins to the scheduled departure time of the last bus(9pm/am),shoot out of my cubicle/PG and not stop running till I reached the ‘bus ground’/BTM-AXA stop , to see the last bus just pass by..I hate hate hate running behind busses that don’t have heart enough to stop for a lady..whew..

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
Can I steal 5 more mins of sleep?

9) FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
CCD & Chocolate in Blore DC(Development Centre)

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
Blush…will be one of Lord Ganesha’s names. (Vinaayakane..pious sigh..)

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?
If I had more than what I needed for a comfortable life , I would give it away for a noble cause for children. And I don’t need to say this here cos it sounds good, which means.. ‘I mean it’.

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
Yup. But not too fast as I hate rash driving , just fast enough for some harmless thrills.

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Ahem! Umm…Cough..twitch twitch..
Sheesh man,what a yuck question is that..

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
Awesome to look at. But considering the trouble they are capable of , I would rather not be in so much awe!

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
How painful can this thing get ? I don’t own one yet..

16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Sweet lassi meinu bahut pasand hai!!

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD
Just wander around the world observing its small wonders and spent my life whetting my appetite for fantasy , walk with bare feet on wet grass and listen to the sounds of nature..

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Ahem..I eat bitter guard if you wanna know.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
Don’t like the idea much.I have got jet black hair and love it that way.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Trivandrum , Mysore , Bangalore..Love all three.Each city/town has a unique beat of its own which is alluring and enchanting , which you realize as you get the groove of it!

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I am stumped!

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
I took this myself from my pal’s blog , and speaking about me , everything is soo nice that its difficult to pinpoint.That sounds conceited ,but I had to tell the truth, right?

23.WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Cobwebs and my 4 pair of shoes.Emergencies about the shoe situation ,scares the hell out of me.Therefore the neat pile.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
YUP.Me ..with all my insecurities , frivolities and confusion.
I zimbly love myself!

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Night owl ..hoot hoot..(there you have the proof!)

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
I will need to flip a coin on that.

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
Anywhere.Place doesn’t matter , it’s the mood ..

28. FAVORITE PIE?
American…teeheee

29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Bitter chocolate.
I came across something called ‘Death By Chocoate ‘ (sinfully choc!!)in a B’lore ice cream corner and went gaga over it.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Not taggin anyone..

(PS : After 3 months in Namma Ooru , Bengaluru.. , I am now in my hometown..)

i Return

Life looks all good with guitar strumming in my ears and lilting, lovely solitude this evening as the sun sets beautifully and all my cubicle-mates (mercifully/for solitude sake only..) leaving early ,giving me a chance to indulge in the all-time love of my life-writing my heart out!(Now you know why I had disappeared behind the horizon for these four months!). As I realize what a golden opportunity has befallen me, a wicked smile spreads itself on my face and rubbing both palms together I grab the keyboard for one of those adventurous sessions of ours..(I meant blogging! C’mon people..)
A quick update on my life since my vanishing act.
The initial two and half months were spent in Mysore undergoing training, were I got to learn my favorite programming language-Java.Fell in love with it all over again.! But that’s not all. Those two and a half months kept me so thrilled and busy that I didn’t even miss blogging.(Imagine!)It’s a paradise on earth that deserves to be spoken about for hours on end…absolutely loved it there !!
After training , they immediately pressed me into services and life hasn’t slowed down since.(Smart people are forever in demand you see…no wonder I am so jobless ..) Let me not bore you with any more specifics..
Outstanding memories
Special Diwali with special kids
I had the opportunity to spent the last Diwali in a special home for underprivileged and economically backward children,organized by our most kind Mysore-HR department.Frequented and supported by folks from the nearby residential company campus and people from all other walks of life,and run by ‘amma’ as she is dearly called,I noticed that the kids there received more love and attention than the kids in any of today’s homes, born to ever-busy parents.They recited entire chapters from Bhagavad Githa and conversed fluently in English with us. Made me wonder who is really underprivileged!

Tearful TZP
Yea its too late now..the movie has been all but forgotten .But I can never forget the experience of consoling the tearful guys who accompanied us for the movie!We virtually sobbed on each others’ shouders..Cheers to those guys cool enough to weep before girls.Guys , you rock!

One thousand new pals
The whole training batch consisted of 1000+ people .Man!Was it huge!!
It was an unbelievable experience , meeting all those lovely and cheerful people who quickly turned to dearest mates. Each and every one of them were special and recalling those faces now gives me that warm fussy nostalgic feeling as of a dream-life fully lived.Lovya all people..

That’s all for the time being.Catchya sooner than later.. ;)

7th Heaven

This post is specially dedicated to the impatient gentleman(cm-chap..).Nothing less than an impatient snort could have forced me to come up with this!

My training center -The golden cage

(just in case you are wondering,the girl in the picture is not me!)

The globe multiplex--'mera globe mahaan..'

weekend respite!

Poool.. ..is just soo exquisite..

I am planning to courier this back home

ps:I hope to come back and make some less cryptic posts..if and when time permits..